3 steps to help protect your kids during and after divorce
On behalf of Johnson, Sclafani & Moriarty, Attorneys at Law posted in Child Support on Thursday, August 24, 2017.
All responsible parents who are going through a divorce want to protect their children from stress and emotional trauma.
No matter how rancorous your split or how much animosity you two feel toward one another, by focusing on three key things, you can help your children get through this time more easily and end up having a happy and healthy relationship with both of you.
Don’t treat your children like your friends.
Resist the urge to vent your frustrations and anger about your ex or the way the divorce is progressing with your children, even if you think that they’re old enough to understand. Keep your kids out of it. That’s what friends, family, therapists and lawyers are for.
This includes financial matters, such as child support. They shouldn’t know how much you are receiving or paying or whether your ex is behind on payments.
Reaffirm your unconditional love for them.
Even though you may think it should be obvious, kids need reassurance of their parents’ love and support for them. Seeing their parents’ marriage end can create a great deal of uncertainty about everything they thought to be true.
If their parents can stop loving each other, can they stop loving their kids as well? This unconditional love may be particularly crucial for the parent who is spending less time with the kids to reassure them about.
Don’t ask your children to choose sides.
It may be tempting to let your kids know what a low-down dirty cheater their father is or what a manipulative shrew their mother is. However, kids need to be able to love and respect both parents. Further, by putting them in the middle and asking them to agree with your assessment of your spouse or choose with whom they want to spend time, you’re giving them the power to manipulate you.
Parents may want to give older kids some say in custody and visitation decisions. However, by leaving decisions like whom they want to spend the holidays with up to them, you’re asking them to choose between parents and giving up your parental authority.
Couples need to form a united parenting front. Keep your squabbles away from kids. Show that you are still co-parents when it comes to both love and discipline. If you’re having issues with this, your Massachusetts family law attorney can likely recommend some sources of support and guidance.
Source: New York Daily News, “3 ways parents can protect their children during a divorce,” Jacqueline Newman, Aug. 18, 2017
