What to expect during your divorce

Massachusetts couples facing divorce may wonder what to expect during the process itself. Below are some experiences that many spouses undergo when splitting up.

-- It's normal to feel like you need a lot of additional support, and friends and loved ones may open their arms to comfort you. This is a welcome thing, but when they begin advising you on important decisions that should ideally be made between you and your family law attorney, it's best to leave the decision-making to the professionals.

-- Understand that the courts move at their own pace and, sometimes, the outcomes are not what you had sought. Many divorce attorneys counsel their clients to give a little to get a little, which is solid advice.

-- Don't be surprised if your standard of living changes and your social network reshapes itself. Even with child support or alimony, the reality is that you will now be living on only one income. Sometimes you will be surprised at which friends remain loyal to you and which side with your ex.

-- Understand and expect that the divorce will affect your children, no matter how old they are. Keeping the conflicts out of their earshot and refusing to speak ill of your ex in front of them goes a long way toward protecting them from unhealthy negativity.

-- Expect that you will experience a sense of failure that your marriage didn't go the distance. Resist beating yourself up over events that have passed and over which you may have had little or no control.

If you find the transition to be unbearably difficult, speak to your family law attorney about getting a referral for some short-term counseling for yourself and possibly your children to help you all get through this turbulent time and emerge on the other side.

Source: Huffington Post, "9 Things You Can Expect During Your Divorce" Elinor Robin, PhD, Jul. 10, 2014