Thanksgiving can be particularly complicated for co-parents

Thanksgiving can be particularly complicated for co-parents

On behalf of Johnson, Sclafani & Moriarty, Attorneys at Law posted in Child Custody on Thursday, October 19, 2017.

Thanksgiving can be a complicated holiday for any couple. If you spend it with one spouse’s family, the other side of the family may be hurt or angry. You may find yourself trying to make time for everyone, which can leave you spending a good chunk of the holiday in your car driving from house to house. If you’re hosting the holiday, you’ve got the added stress of entertaining a disparate group of people while trying not to overcook anything.

For divorced parents, however, Thanksgiving can have even greater complications. Likely both of you want to spend part of the holiday with your kids (and vice versa). Even if you and your spouse have worked out a holiday schedule, your own parents may not be satisfied with it, since this is traditionally one of the few times of the year for multi-generational gatherings.

It’s always best to include Thanksgiving along with other major holidays in your parenting plan. Maybe you decide to alternate years where you’ll have the kids. Perhaps your kids spend part of their Thanksgiving vacation time with each of you. (Most kids won’t say no to two Thanksgiving dinners.) If you’re lucky, you may be able to sit down together as a family and enjoy the holiday. However you do it, it’s important for you – and your children — to know the plan ahead of time.
If you haven’t worked out a Thanksgiving custody schedule ahead of time, by all means, don’t resolve it in front of the kids. Estranged parents create anxiety in their children when they fight in front of them — particularly when it’s about child-related issues.

Situations where you and your co-parent disagree present an opportunity for both of you be good role models for your kids. Show them that the two of you have discussed the matter and come to a mutual decision. This helps them see that just because people disagree, or maybe don’t even much care for each other, they can work together. That’s a lesson that will serve them well as they grow into adulthood.

If you have no Thanksgiving or other holiday custody arrangements included in your parenting plan or if you find that the current agreement isn’t working with you, talk to your Massachusetts family law attorney about what you need to do to amend the plan.

Source: Odyssey, “Children Of Divorce: Divorced Families And Thanksgiving,” Jennifer Fineman, accessed Oct. 19, 2017